… i think this is the first time i post anything of my own. but dont have anyone to talk to, dont know what to think, dont know if i should do anything at all. i know no one will read this, dont have many followers and none that will give me advice. i keep things to myself a lot. its shocking im even typing this…

its about the woman i love, the mother of my child, the women ive been spending lots of my free time with, and the woman ive been intimate with. 

 she asked me a question last night… if i love her. i didnt answer. not cuz i couldnt. but cuz i was waiting for the right time. i had wanted to tell her before, but, decided to wait. i wanted to tell her in a special way. not sure how, but it would have been soon. im sure she was upset and saddened that i didnt answer. but it was worth it for how i would have told her soon. we were doing good, or so i believed. we werent in a relationship, but we had one, you know. i think how things were going had been the best in years, not since we first got to know each other. she means a lot to me, and always will. we have our ups and downs… but honestly to me, no down like this one.

earlier this morning i find pix of her intimate with sumone else. basically sumone elses thing in her mouth. i didnt get angry, or jealous. i just dont know. i was confused. didnt know what to think. wasnt even sure what to say. should i had told her, cuz yeah i did. or kept it to myself? i was calm though. upset, yes. but only cuz it was like woah… didnt see that coming. i didnt ask for an explanation. didnt ask who it was. didnt ask anything in regards to the pix. i was just… down. she said not to txt her, talk to her, and to leaver her alone. should i? should i let these pix mess with my head? should i apologize? ask for forgivness? i have no idea…

                                                                                      - Axel